I am a changing woman. and I think I like it. I actually had a group of women tell me that they were interested in my thoughts. They even went so far as to say that some of the things I said had a positive impact on them. And these ladies happened to be more mature women than myself. How did this make me feel you might ask? I felt absolutely amazed and full of gratitude on the inside. Sheepish on the outside. The leap of faith that we made by moving to TX after one week to decide and just going with what we felt God wanted us to do has been the most wonderful thing to happen in our lives. A move like that gives you a chance to become "yourself"....that person that you are underneath all the history that a small town thinks of when they see you...that person that lives inside but is scared to come out because she knows who everyone else thinks you are.
I have been able to do things for others that I never thought I would have the guts to do, nice things, meaningful things, lasting things. It is very amazing! I told Chris the other day that I am becoming a compassionate woman and I don't know how it happened, but I think I like it! My favorite days of the week are Bible study and church days. I love love love my prayer times now and get soooo much out of them because I have a stronger belief now.
In this though, it has made me just reflect, on me, on life, on friends, on situations. We are planning a trip back to AL. In no way do I feel like I am going back "Home". I was asked by a friend here in TX if I had plans to see a lot of old friends, and honestly...I don't. (from AL) I can count on one hand the number of friends that have called me in the year and a half that we have lived here, I can count on no hands the number of friends who have visited, and as for friends to call on holidays or birthdays-let's make that one (love you Kira!). It is kind of a sad thought. Chris doesn't even talk to the guy that was his best friend, or many other friends really-just a couple of them now. I don't know if Weatherford is home, but I don't believe AL is home either. It kind of hurts a little inside to feel that way, but really, it is true. This is not a gripe, it is just something I have noticed. I have made a few pretty good friends here and am weekly making closer bonds with some wonderful women here-and for that-I am blessed! As for life, I am glad to be here, away from any mistakes I have made in the past and with a clean slate to do whatever God needs me to do. I am very excited that a friend of mine will be attending Bible Study with me after the Spring Break. I didn't know many people without a church home or steady belief system or atleast knowledge of it in AL, but here, I have met many and it is a great feeling to know what you can share that knowledge with others.
Now, I am not a great, happy, totally christian acting woman every day-I will admit that, but, I have a longing to be that. I apologize more, bite my tongue more, and act harsh less. This is a HUGE step for me since I have been known to be the first one to give you a piece of my mind. I don't need to do that anymore, it isn't my place-just gotta love people!
Ok, enough of my gush fest, Life is Great! Kids are Great! Chris is an Awesome husband! I honestly couldn't ask for any more-I could ask for less and be truly blessed still!
~*~Lori Jean~*~
Posts
